I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
