so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
