You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
