what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
