I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
