please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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