Screwed.edu
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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