I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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