she woke up with a sticky ear
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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