I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
