don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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