Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
