that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
