I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
