Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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