I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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