I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
