champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
