I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
pray to the hookup gods
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
