Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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