My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
