but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
