So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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