Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
