omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
