I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
