Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
