Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just had sex bonerless
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
