So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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