what day is it and did you see me today?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
