I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
