No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Congratulations! We have a period
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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