onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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