obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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