Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(438): View more from Quebec

I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

Fav 51 4957 1707
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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

Fav 24 2076 8986
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(785): View more from Kansas

he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense

Fav 26 8769 1621
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(716): View more from New York

I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.

Fav 6 2729 1257
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

Fav 16 4607 1141
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again

Fav 5 1499 762
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(347): View more from New York

Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.

Fav 1 718 365
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?

Fav 3 175 425
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