loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I could fuck to npr.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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