Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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