Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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