dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
