can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
