ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
