return my video game
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
