Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(817): View more from Texas

just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already

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(513): View more from Ohio

hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69

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(517): View more from Michigan

I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more

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