well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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