I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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