I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
