I am in a vortex of obligation.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
