You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wakey wakey hands off snakey
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
