I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
