remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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