Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
