fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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