you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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