My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
