Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wear drunk well.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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